Zap's Wrap November 17th

hi friends,

I’m writing this later than usual while lying in bed sick ):

The last couple of weeks have felt heavy. I’ve been in a strange creative slump, and the work that normally energizes me hasn’t been giving me the same spark. My car broke down last week, which shouldn’t have been a big deal, but it threw me off more than I expected. (Probably because I’ve never had a car payment in my life and suddenly felt like an adult against my will lol). And even though Mr. Zap’s startup is going well, success in a startup does not equal a salary bump… so life just felt expensive out of nowhere.

On top of that, I’ve procrastinated on a few projects that normally I’d attack with full force. Posting online has felt like a chore. I’m not sure what the root cause is yet, but I wanted to be honest instead of pretending everything has felt light and easy.

Part of me thinks I’m just craving a new big project to throw myself into. This year was intense: building The Lighthouse, running SPVs for the first time, planning the Lightning anti-conference, hosting a hackathon, doing another 10 deals… it was a lot. I probably deserve rest, but the problem is that rest is boring!!!!

Luckily, the rest of this year has plenty of movement. At the end of the week, I’m heading to Brazil to see our Alvorada team. Then I’m home for a few days before flying to SF for a retreat and some ecosystem-exploring. After that it’s Christmas party season and then the year winds down. I’m trying to lean into rest, reset, and go into Q1 with a plan and a fresh mind.

And let me be clear: even in a slump, I am so, so grateful. I get to build things I care about, surrounded by founders and people I adore. I get to be totally myself every day. My career isn’t just a job, it’s a life. And a very lucky one.

But I’ve noticed something in myself that I also see in so many founders: we feel unhappy when we don’t have “our thing” to obsess over. I’ve had multiple exited founders tell my Lighthouse founders that the day they sold their company was the worst day of their life, because the doing was the fun part.

I think I’m wired the same way. It’s the illness that makes people successful… and also terrible at resting.

And maybe that’s okay. Maybe this is just a quiet season between big chapters. Sometimes you don’t have a scary, exciting thing looming in front of you and that discomfort is part of the cycle too.

Thanks for reading and for being here.

Next week, hopefully I won’t be writing from a NyQuil haze.

Less emo happenings at the Lighthouse

We had a big week at the house!

• We hosted Foundersgiving- which was Asian food (because my family did not eat Thanksgiving food growing up, we often went out to eat) and Dairy Queen ice cream cake (‘cause, duh, it’s the best). I am extremely grateful to Andrea from Rho for cohosting this with me!!! She came all the way from SF for the week!

• We hosted the Elysian team offsite for 3 days and got to be passive observers of some of the action. It was great to have my friends Grace and Nick and their team around.

• We hosted Founder Run Club and a few brave souls faced the cold weather with us (:

• We hosted a family office event with Brian Adams, which was one of the first times we had folks wearing that many suits at the house haha

• We hosted a sales workshop with Andrew Goldner, who is super insightful about b2b sales

• And finally, we wrapped up on a Friday night with a women in startups/investing learn to play poker night!!! I am so honored that my friend Alex Starr asked to do this with me. She has hosted HUGE versions of this same event in NYC. I have never played before so it was a learning experience for me too.

Personal

What else is there to say? lol I feel like I already got a bit personal at the top.

I did get to go try John Zila’s homemade Indian food!!!!

Come visit me at in-person office hours weekly on Thursdays.

to the moon,

zap⚡